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NEW YORK – Jay Z is in a Coma today after attempting to reduce the size of his lips. The Doctor who was in charge of the operation has committed suicide. The same doctor also left a suicide note citing that he told Jay and Beyonce that the whole thing was a bad idea but the couple insisted that’s why he tried it.

Reasons why Bey wanted Jay’s mouth smaller according to the Doctor’s note.

– When he kisses her he’d cover her nose and she once collapsed from lack of oxygen during one long kissing session.
– When his mouth got dry his tongue cannot reach much further than half way of each lip.
– His bottom lip was pulling down his jaws.
– He once got stung by a bee and his lips covered his whole face.
– He can see his lips without looking at the mirror and thats not good.
– Blue Ivy is scared of them lips, He always has to cover them before he touches her.
– They bleed after every 28 days.
– They were still growing.

Beyonce is reportedly by his side and could not be reached for comment. We will update you on Jay-Z’s condition as this story develops.
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