A 31-YEAR-OLD woman has found love with a tree named Tim and says it’s the best sex she’s ever had.
Emma McCabe says she’s fallen head over heels with the sturdy poplar tree and she’s happy after a string of disastrous relationships.
She also says the sex with the tree is the best she has ever had with anyone.
“I love the feeling of skin-on-bark contact, which gives me a more pleasurable pain sensation, and the feel of his leaves against my skin makes me tingle,” Emma says.
“I look at other trees, but don’t touch – I wouldn’t cheat on Tim. I’d like to get married, but it would be a low-key ceremony with family.”
McCabe, who had many serious unlucky relationships with men, says she’s planning to marry the tree although her family won’t talk about it.
It’s believed Emma’s bizarre attraction to the tree may be a result of a condition called dendrophilia where a person is sexually attracted to a tree.
It’s important to say, of course, that dendrophilia exists – it’s a variant of the sexual attraction to inanimate objects. It’s a real thing.
And why not? After all, Tim’s a poplar guy. Tall, dark, and in touch with his roots.CONTINUE READING